Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
