She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
