p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
