So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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