my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize