Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
