I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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