carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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