My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
