piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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