I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize