Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
