If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
