Porn is love you can see.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
