I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
