Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize