Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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