The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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