It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
