; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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