actually, I'm a sock model
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
