C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
