I want to have your abortion
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
