I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
