I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
