The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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