I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
