I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
