Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
