Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize