just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
