Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
