He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
