and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
