I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
My vagina is officially offended.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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