Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Randomize
