apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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