He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
