i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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