Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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