the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
