Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
