how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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