Got a toothbrush?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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