She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
