So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Randomize
