so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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