i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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