I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
