That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We have so much sex to catch up on
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize