party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
