It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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