my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize