my vag is so smooth its legendary
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
