my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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