I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
