And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
