I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I want to walk on stilts...naked
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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